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Sheila
Gennie
Nataku

Rewind ;
August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008

i need a job!! omg.. AIN NEEDS A JOB BADLY! to those who are born with a kind heart,pls help me to get a job. hahahaaaa =)
awryte,its may sounds funny.. but last sat, kak mala,nizam and myself went to Science Centre. hahaaaaa.. well, it seems like we always go for like lepak,karoake and clubbin..for once,its time for a change. it was quite fun. The entry to the Gallery was FREE since nizam have this Home Team card.. biasa la bdk NS. hahaa.. we only pay for the iMax tix.. which i slept for a few mins cos we hv to lie down on the chair,lookin up the ceiling.. it was abt sum Marine thingy.. SARDINES! hahaa.. It was quite FUN to go there. our next trip is, ZOO trip!!! which gonna start maybe 3 wks time.. =) follow by Jurong BIRD PARK.. heheee

me and MR CRUSH are still bein friends. the last we met up was few days ago.. it was quite funny,cos its been like years since i ride a bike... but okay la,nasib baik aku tinggi naik tu motor scrambler... our next meet up is like next 2 wks. *counting and counting* yesterday nite he lecture me for almost half an hr.. sumpah,aku dgr sikit2 pasal tgh ngantuk.. gees,i cant believe an adult lecture are like so boring but still meaningful. he's been saying to me,i shld go back to studies since i m still young and dun waste time to find work.. he'd be more happy if i study than working. since i still can't find any job, why waste it when i m still young. well i just told him that by next mth if i havent get any job, i might be goin back to Nitec in any courses and start frm a stretch. well well... end of the day its my life,and i m praying hard that i can get a J.O.B!! and i m missing him so much.. "counting and counting"

next week i might be goin to this drama theatre thingy.. i will update Sheila more abt it. Yippie, can u imagine me doing drama class??? hahahahaaaa... Nizam said i shld act as being a SELENGER cos it suits me. WATEVER la ehhh

last wkends,i saw my ex. yg si jantan tk abis abis dgn dia nye HIDUP BUSINESSMAN YG TK AKAN MENJADI.. YG BESAR NYE PUKI MAK WHO MAKE FALSE ACCUSATION AGAINST ME!! pls lah eh, jumpa aku kt luar,kau nk say HI to my sis.. when u look at me, u look at me u and down. tolong la eh MAT TAK SEDAR DIRI, i dun even bother to look at u. da lah nk kat nikah, masih nk fling sini and sana.. pls beware of this guy name, MALIK. pls buzz off when u know ths MALIK wanna get to know u.. he's just a SHOW OFF BASTARD which LOVES BRAGGING AROUND HERE AND THERE ABT HIS LIFE. FYI, ITS JUST A PACK OF LIES!!Da la umur 28, masih tk sedar diri.. eeeeeeee, MENYAMPAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i finally told him i had a crush on him. that customer guy... named Shah. he's quite a nice guy. met him like twice.. and yeah he got a good hell of a bike. :)
for now we r just frens... so called dating frens. he said to me he's not ready for a relationship and i respect that.. i didnt ask if he had any feelings for me. well if he have it, i'm sure he will tell me. for now,he didnt say anything. he holds my hand and kiss me.. i m okay with it cos i only like him, the feeling of love is a NO! we r like frens who are concern with each other. but i'm tryin not to look for him that much,and so far i hv done that. most of the time he will look for me and call me asking wat i m doin etc.. easy to say, we just go with the flow.. :)

When i was working at Desigual, i experience this male customer.. it happenend last Sunday, my counter was rite next to this Thai brand called, Dapper. So Dapper promoter was on leave so i just on off look after her counter. It was arnd 8:20 pm and Tangs was closing at 8:30 pm. so they announced it and here comes this customer... he ask me abt this Dapper brand , so i was like unsure i just told him, all the sizes are on display..

Him: ohh you guys are closing at this time?
Me: yahh they closed at arnd 8:30
him: isn't it too early for weekends?
me:(in my mind, alamak byk nye soalan..)well, yah.......
him:i actualli like that black sleeve top.. but since u guys are closing,i will come back tomorrow. are u working tomorrow??
me: well yahh..
him: wat time u b arnd?
me: ermm 11.30 to 8.30
him: ohh ok, so i will c u arnd..??
me:ohh ok..
him: btw wats yr name??
me: Ain
him: oh hi Ain.. i'm Shah.
me: ermm oh ok..
him: are u a Malay or Mixed?
me: Malay ..
Him: ohhh i tot u r a mixed blood.. oh well so i c u tomorrow since i will b at town area..
Me: yah ok..
(he took out his right hand and shake my hands, and smile. )

so the next day, and the next day he didnt turn up. i wasent really tat care la since he's after that Dapper brand and not mine. So last weds was my last day workin with Desigual since its my temp job for like 2 wks..
then 2 days later, last Friday, i receive a phone call which i dun realli knows siapa nye no. i thought it was my fren bf no,so i just pick it up. and then, its that customer!

him: hello?
me: hello....
him: hi Ain.. its me Shah.
me: (thinking.. shah shah.. mana nye shah nie. da la 2 guys name shah i know..) ermm Shah mana nie??
him: (laughing...) rmbr tat time i approach u asking abt that black top..?? i ;m Shah.
me: ohhh how may i help u then??
him: ohh i actualli gotta yr no frm yr senior..and then yahh i came on thurs and u wasnt arnd?? they told me its yr last day working on weds. wat happen eh??
me: just temp job..

so the conversation still ongoing until now.. well i can say he looks like one of my 28 yr old ex.. just that this guy is fair and ok la maybe abit cute.. omg why do i always get a matured people to be fren??
the funny part is, the day that i broke up with my bf..few hrs later, this Shah appear in my life. its like one after another.. weird rite..??
talkin abt break up, when i msg him abt me wantin to end the relationship, he didnt even reply. well i guess, its good that we r no more together.. and i dun even cry when i dump him. it shows that, i truly do not have any feelings for him anymore and during when i was with him :)

i dunno why but i just keep on dreamin of my ex,didi, who i broke up like 2 yrs back. well sumtimes i do think of him, the moment when i think of him,i will dream of him.. but sumtimes i don't and i sumtimes i do dream of him. recently, today, i dreamt that in my dreams i was with him, its like consider a goodbye journey between us.. and i told him that, "no matter what we r apart, i nak u cari i ,walau apa2 pun." and then he just smile and hug me and kiss me..and there he walk off.
honestly, i know life moves on. but after he walk off from my life, its totally different. i can't find any man to replace him. my greatest regret in my life is that he's not with me. i always ask God when i think of him, "am i meant to be with him or not? if i am, show me with my eyes that he's meant for me. if not, show me with my eyes that he's with another girl . Whatever decision, i accept since i know jodoh ni di tangan Tuhan.
even thou i'm with a different guy, i can't lie to myself, i still think of my ex didi,no matter what.. i try all way out to contact him back,but i failed. but i have a feeling he's happily with another women and she shld be thankful to have him.. but deep inside, there's just no one to replace him in my heart.. insyallah the day will come where sum1 will replace him, insyallah didi might come back to my life.. but then ni semua di tangan Tuhan. i know it's a test from him.. and i just have to bear with it and move on with my life with every test given by him.. :)

last nite, kak mala , nizam and me were hanging out at cck. nizam tunjuk aku gmbr kwn dia kt camp nye bilik.. they took one group of photo,and nizam zoom in the background. ada tingkap..and then dia tunjuk aku benda yg tkda muka. nk katakan bedek, aku pun tk tau la eh. ni semua, tuhan je tahu. bila aku tgk,aku pekik, EH SIAK AHHH NI BIAR BETUL SIOL! then aku bau BUSUK skali.. so aku mcm wonder,"eh slalu lepak kt sini mana ada bau cam gini kan". so aku diam kan je.. and the smell last for like 5 mins. so krng imagine mcm mana aku boleh tahan tu bau.. nk katakan, the smell is not like shit. it totally is TURN OFF punya bau.
so then kita org pon berbual lepak mcm biasa. one hr later, the smell came back. this time, si nizam pegi sound..
nizam:"eh krng baru tk?? siak ah mcm bau busuk siol!"
me: " ahh..aku pun bau. bau apa siak ni!"
nizam: eh mala,kau bau tk???
sis: "diam diam je lah.. buat bodoh."(she look at me, and i know wat it means)
me: "hmmm da la nizam buat bodoh sudahh. tahan je"
nizam:"eh siak ar aku rasa ni mesti tikus mati"
(so dia pon bangun frm tmpt ddk, then look arnd... dying to find that dead mouse. then dia gi tgk atas, then dia buat kelakar..so semua ketawa.. then dia masih cari cari. and the smell started to be so STRONG...
nizam: apa siak ni.. bukan mcm bau sampah"
me:"thats why.. ntah la..."
sis: "gaknye bau rokok tak.. kena daun kt sana" (we all look and laugh!)
me: "tapi tk kan bau mcm gitu kan..."
nizam:" thats why... ni tikus mati arrr. mana siak ni tikus.."

so after tat we just lepak,ignoring it that strong smell...then bau da hilang...lepakk..then we walk off to go back home. inside the train,me and my sis were together while nizam took the LRT.
then my sis ask me,
sis:"kau tau tu bau apa?"
me:"ntah la.. da la bau busuk!"
sis: "krng ni eh..tk tau nk buat bodoh... nk kena tegur je.. balek gi mandi terus! actualli tu bau, i already smell when nizam show the pix. so i just ignore.. then si nizam tu gi sound. alamak krng ni satu2 mulut tk tau nk diam! lain kali buat bodoh je la.. must ask nizam to mandi terus n delete tat photo."
i just kept quiet.. rasa seram..
so my sis told nizam and he already delete the pix..its just one scary experience...

i'm piss and so piss and piss and piss off and mad and mad and angry!!!!!!!!!!! arghhhhh!!!!!!!
bf case, IT'S STUPID AND MEANINGLESS and waittt... TYPICAL!!!
i hv re invite him as a fren at my tagged but then i SUSPECT KUAT DIA TK ACCEPT!!! why??? tak kan lahh ari ari kau msk tagged, kau nmpk aku nye profile nk add kau as fren,kau nk jadi bodoh by saying, izzit? tk perasan ahh. besar nye pukimak ah dia..
and i bump into his profile today, and the shoutout is ---- >>> THAnk YOu fOR THe LUv u HV giVEn me ALL tHIS WHile.... WON'T BothER u ANymoRE"

ladies, obviously its not me rite?? Syukur alhamdullilah, Tuhan da tunjuk aku dia peh perangai..

NEXT... i totally cannot tolerate with him anymore with this f*ck up shit.. its been a mth since i met him. SUMPAH ah eehhh, ex aku yg da ada bini and anak, treat me better than his bf! if a MARRIED man can get jealous and mad and love and everyday look for me, why can't a SINGLE man do tat rite??my MARRIED EX BF, at least meet me like twice or thirce a mth, came over to my place and sumtimes we hang out outside till morning. my bf??? busy busy keje, jumpa kwn bleh,jumpa aku,byk la alasan... 2 days ago, he was suppose to meet me after work,but he kept quiet after i text him and call him. ok fine, aku sabar je!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! since its already 4 times dia buat aku gini mcm..buih aku. next day, i text him asking wat happen last nite? he reply, i accident.
eh pls eh, kalau kwn aku yg accident ,msk hospital or wat, they can inform me on tat day itself, why can't a bf inform me on tat day itself??? sampai aku nk kena tanya kau,apa jadi..besar nye pukimak siak..
tmrw... i gg to ask for a break up.. i can't take it anymore. no more chance..