Friendster
Tagged
Sheila
Gennie
Nataku

Rewind ;
August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008

its been a wk since i had a conversation with that guy.. i can't deny the fact that i kindda miss him. gees, well maybe its just not my luck. Wherever you are, Mr Crush, i hope u are doin well. i didnt even msg or call him for almost a wk. and so do him. is it our ego or he's just tryin to avoid me?

i've known this guy thru tagged. knew him for almost a mth, this guy kindda had a crush on me. and he wld get jealous whenever i make a joke abt me flirting with other guys. wth, i dun even like him. but nonetheless, he was there for me whenever i 'm alone and lonely. he knew abt the things goin on between me and mr crush, and he advised me to keep away frm mr crush cos its abt time. seriously, not only him who told me that, most of my closed frens. hmph.. one thing gd abt this guy frm tagged, i told him that i'll meet him after 4-5 mths of knowing him. and he's okay with it,which sum other stupid guys wld get mad becos of this, why eh?? cos they r plainly dumb stupid! i'm just not ready for any guys rite now, meet up and dating with guys, are not my forte rite now. i'm still thinkin of mr crush, when i have fogotten abt him, then i will meet up wit other guys.

so yeah i know this guy frm tagged, lets just call him, MR ARROGANT. both of us like, cats and dogs. we always had an argument whenever we contact. fucking ego and proud!he always like saying, 'i know what kind of person u are.' i'm like ok lorr.. first of all, u dun even know anything abt me. all we had in our conversation are like, typical boring ppl chat like, hey wat u doin?had ur lunch? hows' your day?not goin out? and the list goes on, well, its a start of conversation. and u tryin to assume u know me> hell noooo.. i dun trust ppl that much, well i dun trust MAN THAT MUCH! so well, at first when we email each other at tagged, i'm like, ok he seems interesting. remind me of mr crush, not a typical malay. skali da msn and then sms, fuhhh.. mcm nk debate je ni anak. for him its like, he's gd in everything and can know wat kind of person i am. fuck la, only an idiot will said that they know me much. helloooo!!! the only person who know me much is MYSELF. cos MYSELF are the one who knows all the fuckin shit goin on.
so, read this ppl. this MR ARROGANT eh, i msg him arnd 1 plus la.tanya khabar.. so then etc,arnd 3 plus he ask if i goin msn? i said, i'm outside with my frens lepak,so i might be goin there (i didnt state wat time). then he's like ok! so arnd 4,i text him,"hey! u still on msn?" . he reply "wru?" . i reply, "oh i'm at home,i will talk to u in msn." 5 mins later, i went to msn, dgn sarcastic, dia ckp.. "hey! you actually make me wait for u till tis time? " i was like, "ok.. if u feel like loggin off, just go ahead." then he said,"ok la bye!" then i said bye..
so i text him, "hey u really log off eh.." then si pukimak ni reply, "fyi i'm outside cafe. tot u wanted to chat so i came here. as i speak i still paying fr e charges and u wanted me to log off n i 'm cool wit it". i was like, fuck laaaa i didnt even ask u to wait ok! and i didnt even know yr fuckin situation. kalau kau nk mengira pasal duit, siak arrr skrg nye 1hr internet is like less than 5 bucks. and i fuckin didnt ask u to wait for me. i didnt even promise him wat time i be in msn, and here u are saying i MAKE YOU WAIT FOR ME ?? i didnt even ask u to wait for me! gees, malassss aku nk layan org cam gini. pasal benda gini, org bodoh mcm dia la boleh mengira pasal benda gini which aku tk janji dgn dia pon. i only make promises to sumone close to me, thats it!thank god i didnt even tell him any personal stuff in me.. if not confirm ni pukimak nye mulut mesti spread arnd...

Do not trust all men, but trust men of worth

i had my last dinner with Mr Crush. after realising everything, i was thinking.. well its time for me to just meet him for the last time without him knowing. As we sat having our dinner, he was telling me how much he appreciate me tellin my feelings towards him and that he's just not ready for any commitment. he told me, he hv a few girl friends including me. and there's 2 of them who like him. i'm like, oh shit, competition kaper... then he said that, he didnt told them that there's sum others who like him..but he only told me. So what does that mean???

Secondly, he told me that he will not be contacting me that much for the past 2 wks onwards or perhaps more than 2 wks, cos he need to study for his exam. in my heart, seriously i used to be a student and i even hv time to meet and contact with my other frens , and u being a 28 yr old guy, dun tell me u dunno how to juggle with work,studies,families and myself??? LAME!

Thrirdly, i dunno am i being stupid or wat. i m just fuckin piss off that to know he meet up with other girls. yes i am JEALOUS,tats me! honestly, he didnt know that i was totally into him till i dun even feel like goin out with other guys beside than Nizam or Haizam cos they r my frens. Meaning like goin for a date or just meet up an online buddy, i dun even meet them cos i feel GUILTY. and i know that i shld just tell him how i felt after tat, but wats the point. THE DAMAGE HAVE BEEN DONE!

Fourthly, he said that sumtimes when i text him, he's on the bike,busy working and will msg me later but sumtimes he forget and lastly becos of sum reason. wat reason eh> i dunno,i dun even bother to ask. if he wants to tell me, tell me then.

Lastly, i hv tryin to give up hope on him. i was like, there's no chances of me being with him in future cos there's other girls who like him. i dun wan to put any percentage of hopes in him cos end of the day if its not me who he want, i will get totally heartbroken. its been 3 days since we last talk on the phone and sms. seriously, i m tryin to avoid him.i m tryin not to think of him. but at times when i did, i just being sad and started to b on tears and i always dream that he run away from me. Bottomline, i'm thru with this dating stuff and him. If we r meant to be together, then ok. if not, we'll just be friends which i shld not have any feelings for him. ...

finally i cant believe i always like this song and cant believe i m finally dedicating it to sumone,which is him. lol.. here it goes:

Fazli Zainal - Harapan

Doaku agar kau kan selalu bahagia
Agar kau temui insan tulus menyayangimu
Lepaskanlah diriku kerna keredhaanmu
Bukan kerna dendam jua bukan kerna kau terpaksa

Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu
Ku undur diri bersama harapan

Tidak kesampaian cinta kita
Ku bawa harapan ku pendam rahsia
Ku di kejauhan mendoakan
Agar kau bahagia tiada lagi duka

Daku rela mengundur diri
Ku pasti dikau kan fahami

Tiada penyesalan kasihku korbankan
Andai telah tertulis ku terima ini bukannya ku pinta
Oh pergilah dikau diiringi keikhlasanku,
Cuma pengalaman mengisi kekosongan mimpiku

I just find out that my last ex..well that JERK have a kid of his own. surprise surprise.. what a LIAR!!!
My friday, i went to Marina Square to get my pay cheque! yippieee.. hahaaaa.. after that went to this book shop and bought this book call, How your Brain Work? interesting... at nite went out with my sis and frens for lepak.. with Ooops.. baron? haha its my so call, drinking day. but it was okay. Mr Crush didnt know,well tk kan smua dia nk tau kan..
so i was on the phone with my close gf, Sharon. askin hows things and everything. okay i must say, all my frens were shock that i manage to date with the same guy that is Mr Crush. well, no comments. :) Ain is Changing for better,wat can Ain say more..
Later sat, goin out with sis and haizam.. gonna watch madagascar 2!!! so excited sehhhh! lol..

awryte i have sum update pix which taken during raya .. so here's a peek..

last sat, i went for my ex colleagues bbq pit.. it was fuckin far siak frm the macdonald at east coast.. omg,its like 15 mins walk.. sigh sigh!!! me and my sis left early to met up nizam and haizam. fuck.. they r suppose to meet us at 11 and end up they fuckin screw us up by waiting for them almost an hr and end up,they gotta last min plan.. arghh!!! i was totally piss off when Mr Crush call me to meet up for a supper. so i was okay laa.. i was still piss off. he fetch me my place arnd 1 am and he was like, are you okay?? i told him, today is my piss off day and pls dun piss me okay? he kept quiet and he's like okay, lets watch soccer..and he ask me wat happen and etc.. liverpool vs tottenham<-- i hope it's spell correct! liverpool 1-2. Mr Crush was like wtf!! how cld liverpool lost!!! my reply, well wat do u expect, its tottenham place they r having on.. for sure, tottenham will win rite.. duhhh.. 1st was like own score and 2nd they score by 90 min.. like wtf kan!so after tat we had a chat and etc.. then he send me off to home. today is ... Wednesday!! let me see, just another bored day for Ain!! this week i'm not meeting Mr Crush :( sad sad sad... next week i guess we'll be meeting. we were on the phone just now and he's like okay..next week we'll go to Sakae Sushi. Yes!! its been mths since i had a sushi in my mouth.. drooling... *counting the days... 10 more days* omg.. i m trying to force myself realising he's just a fren,nothing more. he's strange.. he will hold my hands whenever we go out together,saying that he wanna make sure i'm okay and safe. our first date, i still rmbr, we were walkin at this pasar mlm and he was on the phone with his papa when this Malay man came to me,asking for a lighter since i was smoking and Mr Crush is a NON SMOKER AND DRINKER. so i give it to him, and he smile and he look at Mr Crush and say Thanks to me and walk away.. after that, Mr Crush say to me, "i dun understand SMOKERS, they can afford to buy a pack of cig and they cldnt afford to buy a lighter? how LAME!! tats why don't be a smoker!!!" i was like okay!! so after that we went to the bus stop, and then.. tat MALAY guy walk past us and look at me and smile. i look away.. then Mr Crush ask me, "so, is he tryin to get to know u wat?" , i say"mana la i tahu.. he's only askin for a lighter lahh..!" then Mr Crush hold my waist and kiss me.. then he say," i think he wanna get to know u.. the way he say and watever..btw he did look at me when he ask for a lighter rite?" i was like, "yahhh.." he reply, 'ok tats good then..is he lookin at u rite now??" i was like, alamakkk.. why get so work up?? sigh sigh..

Mr Crush, i m so missin you man...

few days ago, 2 of my ex contacted me saying how much they miss me and etc.. i was like okay. malas la nk layann.. why shld i miss them when i miss Mr Crush the most other than this jerks.. i guess they have taste their own medicine.. serve them rite!! drng da boring, nk cari aku la ni, sweet talk and etc. pls la eh, even if these ppl were to beg on their knees on me, i wld still say NO!

Doaku agar kau kan selalu bahagia
Agar kau temui insan tulus menyayangimu
Lepaskanlah diriku kerna kerelaanmu
Bukan kerna dendam jua bukan kerna kau terpaksa

*Ku tinggalkan memori
Bersamamu....
Ku undur diri bersama
Harapan... (oh...)

Tidak kesampaian cinta kita
Ku bawa harapan ku pendam rahsia
Ku dikejauhan mendoakan
Agar kau bahgia tiada lagi duka
Daku rela mengundur diri
Ku pasti dikau kan fahami..

Tiada penyesalan kasih ku korbankan
Andai telah tertulis ku terima ini bukannya ku pinta
Pergilah dikau diiringi keikhlasanku
Cuma pengalaman mengisi kekosongan mimpiku

i need a job!! omg.. AIN NEEDS A JOB BADLY! to those who are born with a kind heart,pls help me to get a job. hahahaaaa =)
awryte,its may sounds funny.. but last sat, kak mala,nizam and myself went to Science Centre. hahaaaaa.. well, it seems like we always go for like lepak,karoake and clubbin..for once,its time for a change. it was quite fun. The entry to the Gallery was FREE since nizam have this Home Team card.. biasa la bdk NS. hahaa.. we only pay for the iMax tix.. which i slept for a few mins cos we hv to lie down on the chair,lookin up the ceiling.. it was abt sum Marine thingy.. SARDINES! hahaa.. It was quite FUN to go there. our next trip is, ZOO trip!!! which gonna start maybe 3 wks time.. =) follow by Jurong BIRD PARK.. heheee

me and MR CRUSH are still bein friends. the last we met up was few days ago.. it was quite funny,cos its been like years since i ride a bike... but okay la,nasib baik aku tinggi naik tu motor scrambler... our next meet up is like next 2 wks. *counting and counting* yesterday nite he lecture me for almost half an hr.. sumpah,aku dgr sikit2 pasal tgh ngantuk.. gees,i cant believe an adult lecture are like so boring but still meaningful. he's been saying to me,i shld go back to studies since i m still young and dun waste time to find work.. he'd be more happy if i study than working. since i still can't find any job, why waste it when i m still young. well i just told him that by next mth if i havent get any job, i might be goin back to Nitec in any courses and start frm a stretch. well well... end of the day its my life,and i m praying hard that i can get a J.O.B!! and i m missing him so much.. "counting and counting"

next week i might be goin to this drama theatre thingy.. i will update Sheila more abt it. Yippie, can u imagine me doing drama class??? hahahahaaaa... Nizam said i shld act as being a SELENGER cos it suits me. WATEVER la ehhh

last wkends,i saw my ex. yg si jantan tk abis abis dgn dia nye HIDUP BUSINESSMAN YG TK AKAN MENJADI.. YG BESAR NYE PUKI MAK WHO MAKE FALSE ACCUSATION AGAINST ME!! pls lah eh, jumpa aku kt luar,kau nk say HI to my sis.. when u look at me, u look at me u and down. tolong la eh MAT TAK SEDAR DIRI, i dun even bother to look at u. da lah nk kat nikah, masih nk fling sini and sana.. pls beware of this guy name, MALIK. pls buzz off when u know ths MALIK wanna get to know u.. he's just a SHOW OFF BASTARD which LOVES BRAGGING AROUND HERE AND THERE ABT HIS LIFE. FYI, ITS JUST A PACK OF LIES!!Da la umur 28, masih tk sedar diri.. eeeeeeee, MENYAMPAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!